Alison Rosen Interviews Me For Some Reason

My pal Alison Rosen has interviewed me for her high-tech web show, The Daily Alison. Warning: it contains scandalous revelations about my inability to smoke out of a bong correctly.

Also, I say that when I get married, I want it to be just like that interview. Then I say "I'm already married" but Alison talks at the same time so you can't hear me say it.

So, Jeff, if you watch this, we are in fact married. That ceremony in Vegas wasn't just a dream/nightmare. 

Anyway, watch here:  The Daily Alison

Nonsense

For those of you out there who aren't married, and are pretty sure that marriage is a super-romantic lifetime honeymoon, may I offer a counter-point?

Actual conversation between my husband and me regarding our cat:

ME: Wouldn't it be funny if one day you were petting him and you found a zipper and it turned out he was just wearing a cat suit?

Long silence.

JEFF:And what, exactly, would be in there?

Long silence.

ME: Um, I didn't think it through.

Making it work.

Last night my husband and I celebrated out two year anniversary. How do we make it work? I think the following I.M. chat which we had while we were just twenty feet away from each other will show you how we keep it ROMANTIC.

HUSBAND: did you see that your boyfriend Viggo Mortensen is cast as the dad in The Road?
WENDY: YES
i mean i didn't see that
but yay
WENDY: i was afraid they were going to use
president of america tom hanks
and that the son would be played by Wilson the volleyball
JEFF: they couldn't get Wilson
and that was a dealbreaker for Tom Hanks
WENDY: really?
oh right, he's doing the Devil wears Prada sequel
he's playing Anne Hathaway
JEFF: and he's busy doing Lord of the Balls for Peter Jackson
WENDY: yep
that's a porno
BECAUSE IT HAS BALLS IN IT