If you build it, they will come, and then you can eat them.

I'm not what you would call much of a cook. Most of my recipes consist of two parts, and my method can generally be categorized as the "Setting A Trap" school of cooking. 

For instance, here's a simple and easy lunch I made today.

STEP ONE: Set a place at the table.

 

STEP TWO: Eat whatever shows up.

My Failed Top Chef Dishes

Corn on the Cop

Hot Balls

Lube Burgers on Plates

Compromised Fish

Cup of Soda, Finished with Creme Fraiche and Remoulade, Served in a Trash Can by Someone You Hated in High School

Whole Onion, Lightly Baked, then Thrown Away

Your Mama

Nachos Bell Grande en Croute

Forks

Your Own Leg, Gently Removed and then Re-Presented to You, Pommes Frites