Things That Don't Belong Together

Readers! Don't be alarmed, but I had to make an emergency trip to the dentist this morning to have my gold tooth (jealous?) filed down so that I could chew with both sides of my mouth. Sexy, right?

Anyway, I went to a new dentist who was sweet and awesome. And she has a TV positioned right by the chair so you can watch a DVD during your appointment. And most of the movies made sense:

Bee Movie
Legally Blonde
Finding Nemo

Lighthearted, amusing fare to make that cleaning or gold-tooth filing more pleasant. But then I noticed that in the pile was also this:

The Life Of David Gale

From the description on rottentomatoes:

Synopsis: Gale (Kevin Spacey) is a Texas professor and anti-death penalty activist who, ironically enough, winds up on death row for the rape and murder of a colleague. Kate Winslet plays Bitsey Bloom, the brave journalist who sets out to tell to his story. In the days leading up to his execution, Gale fills her in on his life via flashbacks, which include political debates, lectures, sex with a student, rape allegations, alcoholism, divorce, and despair.

I mean honestly, if you choose to watch this movie WHILE getting a root canal, here are some other things you might enjoy:

Listening to Who Let The Dogs Out while getting punched in the junk

Going back to middle school while also being in jail while also having terrible poison ivy and also becoming Paris Hilton's unpaid butler-for-life

Killing yourself while commiting suicide

Two And A Half Men

So, don't watch David Gale while getting your gold tooth filed down (pretty!) but do get your gold tooth filed down, becuase seriously, you have not used that side of your mouth in like two years, and it's like somebody took a thorn out of your paw.

I might even become a nice person now that my tooth isn't bothering me.

From now on, this blog is about candy, unicorns, happy rainbows, and unicorns made of happy candy rainbows.