Friday, May 23, 2008

Resolution

Okay, so I neglect this blog, just as I predicted I would, just as I will someday, (lord willing!) neglect my children and spend all day at the track.

But, I have decided starting today that I will write something on here every day. I know, what a huge sacrifice. How can I be so ACCOMPLISHED? Watch and learn.

So, today, let's review a movie that's really old and horrible but that I only finally saw today while having a cold and being lazy: "A Good Year" starring Russell Crowe. Do not watch this movie, because if you do, you might find yourself turning to your cat and saying, "This is a really fucking horrible movie, isn't it?" And it's really so bad that you think your cat totally knows what you said, and kind of nodded.

In case you missed it (you did), the movie is about an English finance dude who inherits a French estate/vineyard and then goes there and then like, learns to be a good person and stuff. It's like Pretty Woman, only the part of the prostitute is played by a vineyard. And the horrible, painful part is watching Russell Crowe trying to be funny, when we all know the only funny thing he ever did was throwing a phone at a hotel clerk. If the movie was just Russell Crowe throwing a phone at a vineyard, that would have been great.

The end.

One star out out of one million.

11 comments:

Soulful Jenn said...

I almost woke up my son with this review. I love your sense of humor.

Unknown said...

very funny. i suspected the same abt ' a good year' so i didnt bother to see it, though i got the opportunity quite a few times in the last month

Miss Kat said...

I am now incredibly curious as to how you came about watching this. Was it the middle of the day and absolutely nothing else was on? Did the little description blurb sound intriguing from a NyQuil induced stupor? Was it recommended by a friend playing a cruel joke on you in your time of need? I know viewing standards are lower when one is sick (I like to pretend it's because the body is focusing so much on getting better), but this sounds... just... AWFUL! :D

Anonymous said...

Oh My God!..you must've been soooooo bummed out to have actually taken time out to watch the fucking film....

Howard said...

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Octavia said...

This sounds like a very, very bad knockoff of Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane.

Some male type person probably thought by putting Russell Crowe in it, that men could relate better and women would be too engrossed with Russell to notice.

I continue in my believe that the only good Russell Crowe movies are the ones he is not in.

Sincerely, Caro said...

OH DEAR LORD!!!! I DID PEE IN MY PANTS WHEN I READ THIS!!!!! u make me laugh SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!! and i'll bring you my dry cleaning bill.

suzyjax said...

You know. Spending the day at the track does not constitute child neglect. Heck, just bring them along and tell them it' the special zoo for horses only.

Anonymous said...

omiheck! I can't make this up, I reading the post and didn't recognize the name of the film, but the boring plot! I triedto watch this back in Feburary and got so bored I fell asleep in the middle of my messy bedroom floor and ended up with chocolate pudding on myself... don't ask. But if they made a movie out of that it would have been more intresting than that film! Fo sho!

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