Confession

From CNN:

Anti-epileptic and anti-anxiety medications were detected in a portion of the treated drinking water for 18.5 million people in Southern California.

I'm totally addicted to water now. It's like I need it to live. I wish that someone could help me. It's like I'm crying out but nobody can hear. I have got to get off the junk. Today, I did something I swore I'd never do. I turned a trick because the guy promised he could get me some water. And now I probably have a disease. And the water he gave me was some schwaggy bullshit too. I am so anxious and having so many seizures now. Help me, Dr. Drew Pinsky, I don't even know myself anymore. I want to stop drinking water, but the disease is stronger than me. Okay, I am going to go rob a bank now to get money for water. This is your fault, water. I didn't wanna live like this.