Nine Unspeakable Holiday Gaffes
Ensuring department store elves are extra perky by providing them with special “Christmas Meth.”
After priest finishes midnight mass sermon detailing the virgin birth, hollering “Prove it!” from the back of the church.
Taking nap in manger after one too many mulled wines.
At office holiday party, offering to show the ladies your Christmas balls.
For Christmas dinner? Delicious reindeer steak!
At in-laws Chanukah party, saying “Wow! This is even jewier than I thought it would be!”
Selecting and cutting down your own Christmas tree from your neighbor’s living room.
Filling your spouse’s stocking with evidence of your affairs.
Gather neighborhood orphans to announce non-existence of Santa Claus, hope.
