Dear Mom,
There’s no easy way to say this. I know we’ve had a long relationship, and we’ve had a lot of ups and downs. You’ve really meant a lot to me, and I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything. But, the truth is, I’m just not at a place in my life where I can be in a long term relationship. So, I really want to ask you, Mom: Can we just be friends?
I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you anymore, it’s just that I wouldn’t be seeing you as, you know, my Mom. We could still hang out, especially with the friends that we have in common, like Jenny, and Richie, and Dad.
I know that we all want to put labels on relationships, but I think that’s bogus. We don’t need to be “Mom” and “daughter,” we can just be, you know, cool. When I see you, I promise to give you a nod, and that nod means “what up, playa?” but it doesn’t mean that you can call me whenever you want, or show people pictures of me when I was a wrestling cheerleader, okay? Great.
I know you’ll probably be wondering, is this about some other mom? Am I going to start seeing a new mom? But seriously, this isn’t about that. I just don’t want the responsibility of having a mom right now. It’s not you, it’s me. Maybe I’m going through a selfish phase, but we’re all selfish sometimes. Like remember that time you wanted me to set the table for my own birthday party because you were busy making home-made cannelloni and wrapping my new iPhone – that was pretty selfish too. I had to stop drinking for a few minutes and do something boring. So, see, you aren’t perfect either.
Anyway, I guess I’ll come by next week and get all the stuff I have left at your house, like my books, my bong and my three-year-old-daughter. And when I see you, let’s try not to make a big scene. Remember, we can totally talk on email, and if you ever need me, well, you’ve got four other kids.
Sincerely,
Wendy
