SOME AFFIRMATIONS FROM MY BOOK

Remember, it isn't what you're eating, it's that you're eating.

Help me help you hate you.

Remember, no one else can love you until you hate yourself!

You're not just saying "I do," you're saying "fuck you," to single ladies everywhere.

Remember, he's not your husband, he's your "grown-up daddy!"

I love you. Just kidding.