Surprises Revealed in the Lost Season Premiere

1. What's in the hatch now? Pudding.

2. Everybody's gay.

3. What is the smoke monster? Let's just say that after it attacks you, you are really hungry and everything seems hilarious. Also, is everybody looking at you? Why is Sawyer looking at you? Do you think he has any Pringles?

4. On the Island, John Locke can do more than walk, he can sing like an angel!

5. Everyone on the Island has given up trying to figure out what the Island is about in favor of having a tanning contest.

6. Now available on Oceanic Flight 815's seatback televisions: the first five seasons of Lost.

Spoiler Alert For The New Season Of The Bachelor!

1. The new bachelor will have his identical twin take his place to find out which of the girls really wants to be with him.

2. The bachelor will propose at the end of the season.

3. Everybody dies.