A Few Things That Happened At Islands Today

So, this has nothing to do with anything, but I went to Islands today with my Mom, my sister and her six week old baby.

The minute we sat down the waitress was like, do you guys want a basket of fries, or some exotic drinks?

Um, yeah, it's noon on Saturday at a mall in Ontario, California, we have a six week old baby with us, so yes, yes please bring us those exotic drinks. How did you know? Are you some kind of psychic? We came to Islands at the mall to get shit-faced and then drag-race around the parking lot with the baby. Well played, Islands restaurant.

And then, after lunch, I was holding the baby and he pooped all over me.

I was like, yeah, that seems about right.