Howler Monkeys. Sleek, affordable, monkey.

Best Vagina:
Me again. Sorry ladies!

Best Reason To Avoid Going To Work:
Too many zombies there.
Runner-up:
Not enough zombies there.

Best New Invention
Prostitutes. Have you ever tried one? They will have sex with you for money. Recommended!

Best Movie:
American Pie Seven: What Pie Haven't We Fucked Yet, And Why Not?

Best Actor:

Irfan Khan (I'm not joking. Watch A Mighty Heart and then The Namesake, and then tell me he is not the best actor in the world.)
Best Celebrity Meltdown:
Everbody

Worst Celebrity Meltdown:
Meryl Streep. Can you please do crack or fight a hobo for a dollar or something? You are boring me with all your good acting and classy behavior. YAWN.

Best Blog:
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Best New Word:
Ham
Best Celebrity Baby Name:
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Best Jane Austen Book:
Shiloh