I'm Going To Be A Great Mother Someday

In order to be a good parent, you need to be firm but consistent. And I think this interaction I had with my cats today shows that I've got the stuff.

A CHRISTMAS PAGEANT:

Petunia pounces on Christmas tree, knocks off ornament, starts to play with ornament.

ME: Hey! Hey! You are cruising for a bruising. And by bruising, I mean light verbal reprimand.

I retrieve ornament, go back to eating lunch.

Petunia knocks another ornament off the tree.

I sigh,  continue eating lunch.

Sleep with one horn open.

Oh no. 

Somebody found my site using this search:

Referring URL http://www.google.co...ogle Search&aq=f&oq=
Search Engine:  google.com
Search Words:  unicorns stab

If you see sparkly, childrens'-wish-filled, hot-pink blood running in the streets, alert the authorities immediately.

Do Not Go To There

So, I was shopping at Bristol Farms, which is a very fancy grocery store.

So fancy in fact that some of their products feature pictures of elegant gentleman in tuxedos on the packaging.

But do not be fooled!

You should definitely not eat the product offered in this box.